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When a then 8 to 9 year-old Carolien was sexually abused against her will for a period of one year , little did she know that she would grow up having to endure the devil’s persistent torments. Hailing from Cape Town, South Africa, and married with two children, Carolien Coetzee would suffer rejection, develop a strained relationship with her mother and find blemishes in her matrimonial home. Carolien’s relationship with both her husband and daughter Carla knew no peace until her deliverance at The Synagogue, Church Of All Nations (SCOAN) exposed the spirit of lust and the spirit of abuse that had been responsible for the torments she’d suffered.
“I didn’t know there was a spirit behind my problems,” said Carolien. In the aftermath of the abuse, Carolien always felt rejected. Whenever she was among people, whether she knew them or not, she always felt she was never good enough. She thought she was the worse in the midst of others. Thinking of herself as being ugly, she would constantly compare herself with other women. A voice in her mind constantly occupied her thoughts with such self-degrading pronouncements. In order to compensate for this, Carolien explored ways and means by which to please everyone. She would browse through magazines in order to search for models or celebrities whose lifestyle she could emulate. This was tantamount to seeking acceptability among others. In her attempt to attract the attention of others, she even thought the friends she had were only being kind to her or considerate. The tormenting voice within wired her to think that she was never good enough for anyone.
During Carolien’s school days up to her post-marriage era, she has had dreams or nightmares that usually had something to do with a body of water. There were times when a large wave appeared to engulf her, but then she would find herself floating away on the waves. Sometimes, she found herself in the midst of others at the beach, where a large wave appeared ready to consume the beach goers. She would then find herself desperately directing the attention of the beach goers to the gigantic wave in an attempt to avoid what seemed to be the inevitable in the spiritual realm.
Married and blessed with a son and a daughter, Carolien’s problematic antics excluded her son but pestered her husband and daughter Carla. She constantly picked and fussed with Carla. She found her dealing with the 4 to 5 years old little girl was rather frustrating. Whenever she asked Carla to accompany her to the shops, the little girl would refuse but prefer to go with the father instead. This always left Carolien feeling dejected. If she asked Carla to sit on her lap to stimulate a mother-daughter bonding at home, her daughter would prefer her father’s. Whenever Carolien requested her daughter to make up her bed, she expected the 4 – 5 year-old to take a Yes mum! approach. However, if the little girl would not say Yes mummy! Right mummy! her mother, then Carolien would yell, “Carla, come, come, you’re being disobedient.”
If Carolien chose a dress for little Carla to wear on a particular day and the latter refused the mother’s selection, then the voice within Carolien told her, “She is not listening to you; she’s not obedient enough.” This would then cause anger to rise in Carolien, triggering another commotion.
Carolien recalled that she too never had a good mother-daughter relationship with her own mother. In the past, when she was frustrated by something, she chose to share it with her father and not the mother. She sparsely met her mother – once every three months. Carolien would learn from her mother that her birth was not planned due to financial constraints. However, she would later in life reconcile with her mother, creating room for the pair to talk over their differences and forgive each other.
Overwhelmed by the spirit of lust and controlled by the voice within, Carolien’s post-marriage affection for her husband dwindled by the day. Whenever her husband advanced to meet her as husband and wife, she would concoct excuses to avoid being intimate with her husband. However, if she ever yielded, then the spirit of lust projected unavoidable graphic and visible pornographic images to occupy her mind. Following this, the voice within dictated for her to remain locked in the images in order to enjoy the act. She would then go through the intimacy without any attachment, because the whole experience made her feel violated, tortured, abused and used. She felt like a prostitute, and reckoned that if such would be the situation throughout the marriage, then it would be best she rather not go through it in her marriage. This unhealthy marital circumstance stimulated series of altercations to a despicable degree.
Questioning her thoughts on the extent to which the spirit of lust compromised her marital bliss, Carolien said, “It affected our relationship and compromised the attraction between us. I’d felt used and did not want to feel used again. It was like you wanted attention and when the attention comes, you don’t want it. You don’t feel like it is something that you want. You will rather want to run away from that. But I never felt like I would rather attract other men’s attention. I wanted his (husband) attention, but then I reject him. This compromised peace in the house. I don’t know whether he went outside of our relationship, but he confessed to getting addicted to porn. The house was constantly at war, for one could not return to a peaceful house.”
To compound her domestic problems, Carolien developed a drive that would rob her of the quality time-biased attention she could have given to her husband, children and herself. She would seek to have everything in perfect order. When she picked up the Bible to read, the voice within reminded her of an outstanding laundry. She would then drop the Bible and immediately occupy herself with doing the laundry. While sorting out the laundry, she would start to worry about other household chores simply to seek something to do to occupy herself. She could not stay still, for even whenever she was seated with her family, her thoughts would be dominated by things she needed to get done perfectly and impressively. Another mechanism to subscribe to a shared attention between family and other things was to visit the shopping mall to shop on both what she needed and others on impulse.
Describing the demonic controlling voice as a non-audible one that did not come from her heart but rather invaded her mind, Carolien recalled the role that voice played whenever she had a row with her husband. While she quarreled with her husband, the voice would tell her, “He’s very selfish.” Carolien agreed and told her husband he was selfish. “He’s lazy; men are typically selfish, and will fall into self-pity,” said the voice. Carolien agreed and echoed it back to her husband. The more she communicated what the voice told her, the more the voice shaped her personality. As a consequence of this, Carolien’s anger and frustration increased violently. Although she would reconcile within her reasoning intellectual faculty that her husband was not selfish, that such reaction to an ensuing domestic altercation was not what God had intended for her and that it was wrong to carry on like that, she had no control in helping herself out of the bondage.
In the midst of the troubling web that engulfed her matrimonial home, Carolien’s husband was also battling his own personal issues. He struggled to get out of ungodly dreams and an intense interest in pornography, which compromised his spiritual life. He could not escape from the addiction. As a result of this, his spiritual life became erratic. His addiction to pornography started in primary school when someone showed him a pornographic picture. He also recalled another occurrence in which an exposure to a sexual introduction negatively impacted his life. The pornographic habit became the core distraction that subjected him to the act of masturbation coupled with a sense of guilt. His life digressed from making progress.
Carolien’s sensitive husband likened his marriage to walking on eggs to avoid confrontation. As such, altercations put him in a dilemma. In order to resolve some of the domestic conflicts, Carolien’s husband implied that he would virtually take the responsibility as the source of the conflict by saying ‘sorry’ to his wife. Although such an approach was never an ultimate solution, it did provide temporary cessation to the conflict.
In an attempt to normalize her relationship with her family, Carolien would fast, pray, read the Bible and seek counselling along with her husband. She visited other churches in search of solution to her family’s plight, without any success. However, when the couple finally renewed their interest in watching Emmanuel TV in June 2012 and saw how people with similar problems fell under the influence of the Holy Spirit and were eventually delivered, Carolien humbly accepted that the voice she had thought was part of her genetic wiring might after all not be hers. She questioned herself as to whether the voice she had listened to from childhood to mid-2012 was actually part of her character. That voice must have come from another source, she reckoned. Encouraged by the deliverance exercises she witnessed, Carolien prayed thus: “God do in me what I’d seen in The SCOAN. God I am ready. I am not willing to go on with this. I cannot go on with this,” she continued, poised to be freed from the devil’s grip.
Carolien and her husband decided to open up and seek deliverance. As December 2012 approached for the 2013 New Year service in The SCOAN, Carolien decided to be a part of the event. However, just a week before she and daughter Carla left Cape Town for Lagos, she had another demonic dream. “I was walking on the beach and a big wave was coming at me when a shell (with a venus-like figure) emerged and opened. The figure came out as a woman, who spoke to me. She appeared beautiful but at the same time evil. She was something of the type you would not want to look at but the beauty draws you to it. ‘You will never escape me,’ the venus-like figure told me,” she narrated.
When Carolien and her daughter arrived at The SCOAN Nigeria to fulfil her quest to seek more blessings, little did she know what God had in store for her and the family. Wise Man Daniel prayed for her, and the spirit of lust, anger and rejection within her manifested. The evil spirit did not only confess that it originated from the ocean, but also stated that it had wanted to destroy the relationship between Carolien and her daughter.
In her own words, she recounted the spiritual experience: “I saw Wise Man Daniel standing in front of me, but the experience I had showed that there was the Power of God in my presence. A good electricity shot through me, for God located me that day using Wise Man Daniel. The first time he put his hand on me, I felt a bolt of electricity shot through me and the thing (evil spirit) started speaking through me and I had no control. I was aware of the voice but I could not control it. During the deliverance, one feels the Power of God. What spoke through me, I had no control over.
“My immediate reaction was that I was shocked but relieved. It took me about thirty minutes to compose myself. I was blank in terms of that voice which disappeared and I felt that inner peace. “I never figured there was a spirit (of lust) behind it (marital problem), for I’d thought it was one of those things a husband and wife go through in marriage as part of life. These were all from the voice within me, and after my deliverance, I never heard that voice again.
“After the deliverance, I could feel the peace in me settling in. I could feel the voice is gone, (for) I realized there was nothing any more in my thoughts. And now, I have the affection a wife should have towards her husband. We don’t have the quarrels any more. We do occasionally argue over a few things but those are over trivial issues and never escalated into any of the previous domestic fights.
“Even the frustrations I had with my daughter over the trivial of things have disappeared. The nagging over her being disobedient and the like are no longer issues with me. She wants to be with me now. I look at my child and I feel love towards her. She goes to the shops with me and the other day when I picked her up from school, she told me: ‘Mummy you are the best mummy in the world’.”
Carolien had formerly thought that her husband was always in her space, but nowadays, they can sit together and touch each other without any sense of hatred between them. Above all, she is no longer hysterical about the must-do domestic to-do chores. If any of such chores crossed her mind, she said to herself: “This can wait till tomorrow.”
“It is peaceful and everything is relaxed at home,” Carolien continued. “The SCOAN? Life changing, definitely. If it was not for the ministry, if it was not for the Man of God, if it was not for the Wise Men that came out of this ministry, if it was not for the Anointing Water, Anointing Sticker… I could go on and on, our lives would still have been the same. We would have probably ended up being part of the divorced statistics. I probably would have been on medication to cope with life. I thank God it (The SCOAN) changed our life for good.”
On lessons learned, Carolien presented that, “I have learned that spirits can come into your life uninvited. But sometimes there are the generational elements (too). Sexual abuse is not something people want to open up to because one feels ashamed and guilty as though it is always one’s fault; as if it was one who caused it to happen to one. I wish I had opened up much earlier to get these things out of my life and out of my marriage. Now, I have the power to choose, (for) in the past I did not have any control because something was driving or forcing me. Now my thoughts are clean and so I can say no or yes. I rather have God instruct me when to do the laundry. Unlike previously, while reading the Bible I would suddenly remember to do the laundry. (As an element) of distraction, I would drop the Bible to go do the laundry. But now I am wonderfully doing what I want, such as having a quiet time with the Bible.”
On his part, Carolien’s husband maintained that everyone has a past for which they were encouraged to seek deliverance. “In my wife’s case,” he said, “She did not choose what happened to her. It was not a choice she made. It is not a personal thing. One cannot say ‘It is my thing, I cannot share it with the world’. We have to expose satan of his garbage because it is not about us. We do need deliverance because it is very necessary in our time. Our relationship with Jesus is ever improving.”
Carolien advised that, “I would really encourage them (victims of sexual abuse) to open up, (for) it is never your fault. I went through twenty-nine years of the evil spirit’s torments, which even opened the door to the spirit of lust. If you open up your heart to God, He can take you from where you are now to where He wants you to be. It is that confession that brings you freedom.
“Over here (at The SCOAN) it is not only about your deliverance, but they also teach you how to maintain it. Because the world will always be the world, and so maintenance is important. Better is not good enough; the best is yet to come!”
Having been subjected to years of the demonic spirit’s torments, Carolien’s husband also advised that men and people in general must maintain a life of humility and piousness. He stressed that regardless of the fact that every Christian is eager to read the Bible, speak in tongues, prophesy and do all the good things expected of a Christian, one should revisit one’s spiritual life. Going back behind the scene to do pornography, expand unclean thoughts, among others, while projecting oneself positively in front of unsuspecting people, are the elements that can question one’s spiritual level. “I would say, as a man, you need to humble yourself, open up to your weaknesses, go to a place where there is Anointing of God or Power of God,” he said. “We’ve been through counseling and (visited) churches, but it was only when we came to this place of the Power of God and Anointing that we received our deliverance. People need to find a living Church where there is Power of God. For us, we follow Emmanuel TV and its various media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, etc. We’ve come to a point where our lives now depend on it. My advice is: ‘pursue Godliness, find a Living Church of God, get involved with The SCOAN for the Man of God is a Prophet of our times. He’s a gift of mankind’.”
We thank God for this wonderful testimony and we believe you were blessed by reading this testimony. Please share it with others for the glory of God!
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